MOB Media Employees & Friends Say the Darndest Things
2009 Version of our Malaprops!
It's time to recap 2009's funniest statements from our MOB Media Family. Last year's end-of-year laziness turned into this year's actual work, culling together the funniest or strangest comments spoken or written during the year. Malaprops and non-sequiturs, is what I called them last year. We got a lot of comments about this blog, so now I have to do it every year and clean the board for 2010!
As you know, I actually have a whiteboard on which I write these quotes. And, in fact, if anyone hears one, we say, "Put it on the board".
Just to clarify again, technically a malapropism is when someone uses the wrong word that often can sound like the right word. A non-sequitur is a comment which, due to its lack of meaning relative to the comment it follows, is absurd to the point of being humorous or confusing. I'm also quoting just statements from the mouths of my staff which are totally non-sensical. I consider these either malaprops or non-sequiturs I will use their first names to somewhat protect the guilty:
"Are we working together or as a team?" Dave
"I only know to ask you about things I know about." Allan
"I only need 1 Ibuprofen because only one of my ankles hurts". Laura
"But, I'll be back before I leave." Yours truly, but it actually made sense!
"Look, there are already 2 pieces of velcro in the package." Raina....think about it...
"Jeff will have a cornea if I text during the meeting!" Shawna...the word is coronary, but thanks for playing!
"I need to find a restaurant in Las Vegas near the LA Convention Center." Laura...ummmm good luck?
"It smells like 401K!" Paulette....she made the same mistake last year, we'll blame pregnancy!
"Other than smoking and drinking, I'm a pretty healthy guy!" Tim...really?
Conversation: Laura: "I was born in Alaska". Alisha: "Really, you weren't born in the United States!" uhhh, Alisha, Alaska was the 49th state admitted into the Union in 1959.
"I always come in through the backdoor." Laura...no comment
"If you weren't such a turd, Lisa, I wouldn't be such a brat!" Shawna...hmmm....
"What are you going to be for Halloween, this Christmas?" Manny
"If we get one more tape deck the work will take us twice as long." Ryan...uh no, but it will take half the time!
"Put on your jacket, I'm cold." Toby...and that helps you how?