Ok, it’s another year of flubs, gaffs and just downright dumb statements from your friends at MOB Media. As you know by now, we try to gather the funniest or strangest comments spoken or written during the year. I call these malaprops and non-sequiturs, misstatements or just darn funny/stupid stuff. It’s time for me to wipe the white board clean by getting these off our chest! Remember, it’s all in fun and we’ve included some of our clients and friends along this path of sentence destruction. Let’s begin!
Starting off the 2011 season was our all-time leader in misstatements, Laura:
· When telling another employee that it’s not possible to make any word sexual, she’s challenged to come up with one that you can’t. Her word? “Cotton Balls.” Really Laura? Don’t know how anyone could come up with a risqué comment to that!
· Continuing the theme of Laura and risqué comments that she doesn’t get, she commented to a fellow MOBster about his pants “There must be some kind of thing in your slacks that comes and holds up their weight” I withhold comment on that one.
· Laura continued throughout the year, “How many feet are in a yardstick”. Indeed, how many feet are in a yard, Laura?
· With the new arrival of her young puppy, she felt the need to tell us that “My dog’s poop looks like crap”.As opposed to my dog who defecates gold.
It’s easy to pick on Laura, but there were many others, Rob made the board a few times as well:
· “I tried, but never did it.” Rob might need a dictionary for his birthday this year.
· My favorite statement from Rob came later in the year, “I would suck in a men’s prison”. That might make a few fellow inmates happy, but otherwise, not something that should be said in public.
· In an example of mixed cliché department, Rob had this doozy, “Why put off today what you can do tomorrow”. Sadly, he didn’t mean to be funny.
So even though our lovely Erin has flown the coop, she still works with us and occasionally will grace us with her gaffs.
· In an email she asked us in all seriousness, “Where’s the price for the job fair and why is it so pricey?” But if you think it’s expensive, why are you asking…OH NEVER MIND!
· When asked who she wanted to shoot for a commercial she said, “Mostly female and some men.” That’s a relief, I was afraid we might have to shoot, oh wait, there are no other options!
· In another email, Erin told us unequivocally, “the last one will be separate and last”. From the department of Redundancy Department…
There are so many other fun things that were overheard:
· “A good friend of mine, whom I personally know.” – Arnie, are there other kinds of friends, I suppose with Facebook, everyone is a friend!
· Arnie is also geographically challenged or perhaps remembers personally the Roman Empire? He actually said, “There’s a Rome, I thought Rome was Italy!” We’re going to chalk that one off as Arnie is really smart and experienced, he’s forgotten more than we’ll ever know?
· Arnie isn’t the only one who has an issue with the way the world is, in October Lisa asked me, “Are we in Spring now?” Let me repeat, in October, Lisa asked me…
· Employees are not the only ones immune to saying silly things, Jeff and I had our share, but mysteriously most of those got erased, but one statement from Jeff did survive, “Things aren’t going to be different until something changes”. See my comment about a Dictionary for Rob, above.
· Ok, I often talk too much in client meetings, and one that I find funny is “We certainly can possibly help you!” If ever there was agency doublespeak, that was it! Oh well.
There you have it, the 2011 Whiteboard material. Now remember, before you think we’re just a bunch of idiots, we all say funny things and sometimes we engage our mouths without utilizing that brain we have. Looking forward to a successful 2012…Can’t wait!