MOB Media Employees say the Funniest Things
Well, far be it for me to change tradition during this holiday season. What most bloggers (I don't think I can put myself in that category!) do around this time is recap the year in a quite serious tone with sage predictions for the next year. It's called laziness and lack of originality.
Well, since I'm such a maverick, and I'm here working on the 24th, why not share with you the funny, often hilarious things my own MOB Media employees have said during the year? I actually have a whiteboard on which I write these quotes. And, in fact, if anyone hears one, we say, "Put it on the board".
Just to clarify, technically a malapropism is when someone uses the wrong word that often can sound like the right word. A non-sequitur is a comment which, due to its lack of meaning relative to the comment it follows, is absurd to the point of being humorous or confusing. I'm also quoting just statements from the mouths of my staff which are totally non-sensical. I consider these either malaprops or non-sequiturs to keep my headline down to a reasonable length. I will use their first names to somewhat protect the guilty:
1. "Sally said it was 14 days, not two weeks!" -- Erin
2. "I'm sure, but I'm not positive." -- Paulette
3. "Woody Owl was a Woodpecker!" -- Laura
4. "Hey, what's Walter's name?" -- Ryan
5. "I made vegetarian chili, but I put chicken in it." -- Jeff
6. "I hate working on the Excel templates, they're such a bitch, but they're kind of fun..." -- Erin
7. "It's like a sedative, it makes me focus." -- Paulette
8. "This would be a great business, if it weren't for the clients!" -- Anonymous business partner (wasn't us, I swear!)
9. "We don't need B-roll unless we need it." -- Erin (yes, again!)
10. "I have 375, one for every day of the year." -- Lisa, our accounting manager.
My only prediction for the coming year is that we'll have more of these statements for the 2009 recap!
Happy Holidays and have a prosperous and productive 2009!
Paul